Joeseph Driessen Returns to Saint Brigid's National School
Monday 11 October saw a record crowd gather in the general purpose room in St Brigids NS, to be enlightened by the return visits from Joseph Driessen. Many of the Mothers and Fathers remember the excellent talk he gave in September 2006 on “Raising Boys”.
Joseph Driessen is a leading international educator in boys' education. Joseph is much in demand as a speaker, facilitator and education consultant. He is based in New Zealand.
Joesph gives workshops and seminars to teachers, parents and boards of trustees about the education of boys. He is a regular speaker at national and international boys’ education conferences, and is frequently engaged by schools to give professional development seminars to school staff. Thanks to the Dublin West Education Centre St Brigids NS were most fortunate to have Joseph talk to our parents.
The talk focused on developing and improving on existing parenting skills in the core areas below:
· Perfect Mothers
· Skills for school success
· Perfect fathers
· Energy
· Boundaries
It is very hard to try and fully capture all the content discussed during the night therefore we have provided a brief summary of the key areas addressed. To learn more about Joseph Driessen visit his web site http://www.educationanswers.com/
Perfect Mothers
Joseph clearly recognised that Mothers are generally excellent at nurturing their child however some Mothers may have room for improvement in setting boundaries. To be successful in doing so, he stressed the importance of being authoritative in a coaching style without aggression. Mothers must be leaders, set limits and boundaries and enforce the consequences when applicable. Within these boundaries Mothers can let their child enjoy their freedom. Simple tools to aid this process include use check lists with your child and get them involved, have a family diary with tasks and roles listed, give your child daily jobs (Joseph says a daily task for each year of life) have family meetings (this can be a fun way of communicating and getting your point across) and read structured parenting books with your children.
Good communication is the key to success, aggressive parents can risk eliminating all the self confidence of their child. Mr Driessen strongly advised Mothers to steer away from aggression. He advised Mothers to practise saying fewer things for example “I am disappointed” Enough, “DO you really want to do this” “I think you can do better. And communicate less emotion and ALWAYS have consequences.
Skills for school success
Global Research about school achievements has indicated that setting expectations is vital for a child, good work ethic is most important. These finding lead on to the fact the reading is the key for the child’s development and progress in school life. From age 0 to 3 Parents should read to their child on a daily bases. As the child develops he or she should be encouraged to read daily and families should use a regular time each day to discuss the stories being read. Mr Driessen suggested ways to get older children back to reading (if they were experiencing problems in this area). Tools such as role model reading where the adult reads to the child and the child points to each line and the word as they are been called out (the child may have a second book or in the beginning share with the parent). He also recommended using IT based read along books.
Along with reading comes the powerful tool of writing and writing skills.
Girls tend to be more fortunate with their writing skills at an earlier age than boys, as they tend to develop their fine motor skills quicker than boys. Mr Driessen recommended that we as parents must try to improve our child’s motor skills by getting our child to build model toys such as Lego or aeroplanes etc, start showing your child how to hold a pencil and make strokes early, get your child to write stories, and if your child has major problems with writing talk to your teacher to see if they will accept computer assignments (this has helped many children with writing problems).
The talk highlighted the importance of “Making Homework a happy Time” To do this the following was suggested:
· Make it a family routine
· Provide structure (e.g. all phones off, TV off etc)
· Have brief sessions (maybe 3 20 minute sessions)
· Provide indirect supervision (let your child know you are there)
· Insist on routine
· Find out what needs to be done (check their school diaries)
· Positive Reinforcement
Help your child have a plan for the future
We the parents were encouraged to give children the experience of future learning settings, remember abstract does not mean anything to a child as they cannot imagine. We can be proactive by letting our child see what is out there for example bring them to visit a university, show them some jobs (bring them to the bank, etc). In doing this you are promoting to your child what is available after school.
Perfect Fathers
Fathers bring a different and very important role to parenting. In general Fathers tend to be stronger at enforcing boundaries with their child however some Fathers could try and improve their nurturing skills with their child by :
· Playing together
· Spending regular time together
· Showing affection is vital
· Doing things together
· Teaching new things to your child e.g. fishing
· Visiting your child at school and understanding what your child is doing at school
To become more involved with your child put your plans with your child into your work diary (set out a plan, make a list of actions and schedule weekly time to enact). Fathers should aim to be your child’s guide by sharing your values and visions with your child (let them understand you). It is worth pointing out the children need to get the approval of their fathers.
Energy
Children are full of energy and it is the parent’s role to convert this energy in a positive way to develop your child for life. Sport is key to elevating negative energy and maximising positive energy, releasing endorphins and making your child feel good about themselves. As parents we need to encourage and support our children by transporting, attending and nurturing their sporting interest and talent. Alongside structured sport children benefit greatly from introducing adventure and outdoor play whether its hill walking, body boarding etc. This adds excitement and releases energy and makes memories with your child.
Boundaries
The final part of the evening focused on Boundaries and Children
The talk ended on a structured approach to boundaries to help parents put their new skills identified at the talk into a positive action in the family. Boundaries must be set without stress, children operate well in structured environments set up by a good leader, and children operate well in a positive coaching environment. The main question in many parents’ minds is what to do when the child pushes the boundaries. Mr Driessen suggests
1. Remain really really calm
2. Discuss the action with your child briefly and positivity
3. Explain reasons for boundaries
4. Explain Consequences
5. Enforce the Consequences
6. Be consistent but calm and kind
7. Move on and have a fresh start
This was the first of many parent evenings that will be held in the school during the 2010/2011 academic year. Details of upcoming events will be provided on the web site and communicated to the parents via the school.
Joseph Driessen is a leading international educator in boys' education. Joseph is much in demand as a speaker, facilitator and education consultant. He is based in New Zealand.
Joesph gives workshops and seminars to teachers, parents and boards of trustees about the education of boys. He is a regular speaker at national and international boys’ education conferences, and is frequently engaged by schools to give professional development seminars to school staff. Thanks to the Dublin West Education Centre St Brigids NS were most fortunate to have Joseph talk to our parents.
The talk focused on developing and improving on existing parenting skills in the core areas below:
· Perfect Mothers
· Skills for school success
· Perfect fathers
· Energy
· Boundaries
It is very hard to try and fully capture all the content discussed during the night therefore we have provided a brief summary of the key areas addressed. To learn more about Joseph Driessen visit his web site http://www.educationanswers.com/
Perfect Mothers
Joseph clearly recognised that Mothers are generally excellent at nurturing their child however some Mothers may have room for improvement in setting boundaries. To be successful in doing so, he stressed the importance of being authoritative in a coaching style without aggression. Mothers must be leaders, set limits and boundaries and enforce the consequences when applicable. Within these boundaries Mothers can let their child enjoy their freedom. Simple tools to aid this process include use check lists with your child and get them involved, have a family diary with tasks and roles listed, give your child daily jobs (Joseph says a daily task for each year of life) have family meetings (this can be a fun way of communicating and getting your point across) and read structured parenting books with your children.
Good communication is the key to success, aggressive parents can risk eliminating all the self confidence of their child. Mr Driessen strongly advised Mothers to steer away from aggression. He advised Mothers to practise saying fewer things for example “I am disappointed” Enough, “DO you really want to do this” “I think you can do better. And communicate less emotion and ALWAYS have consequences.
Skills for school success
Global Research about school achievements has indicated that setting expectations is vital for a child, good work ethic is most important. These finding lead on to the fact the reading is the key for the child’s development and progress in school life. From age 0 to 3 Parents should read to their child on a daily bases. As the child develops he or she should be encouraged to read daily and families should use a regular time each day to discuss the stories being read. Mr Driessen suggested ways to get older children back to reading (if they were experiencing problems in this area). Tools such as role model reading where the adult reads to the child and the child points to each line and the word as they are been called out (the child may have a second book or in the beginning share with the parent). He also recommended using IT based read along books.
Along with reading comes the powerful tool of writing and writing skills.
Girls tend to be more fortunate with their writing skills at an earlier age than boys, as they tend to develop their fine motor skills quicker than boys. Mr Driessen recommended that we as parents must try to improve our child’s motor skills by getting our child to build model toys such as Lego or aeroplanes etc, start showing your child how to hold a pencil and make strokes early, get your child to write stories, and if your child has major problems with writing talk to your teacher to see if they will accept computer assignments (this has helped many children with writing problems).
The talk highlighted the importance of “Making Homework a happy Time” To do this the following was suggested:
· Make it a family routine
· Provide structure (e.g. all phones off, TV off etc)
· Have brief sessions (maybe 3 20 minute sessions)
· Provide indirect supervision (let your child know you are there)
· Insist on routine
· Find out what needs to be done (check their school diaries)
· Positive Reinforcement
Help your child have a plan for the future
We the parents were encouraged to give children the experience of future learning settings, remember abstract does not mean anything to a child as they cannot imagine. We can be proactive by letting our child see what is out there for example bring them to visit a university, show them some jobs (bring them to the bank, etc). In doing this you are promoting to your child what is available after school.
Perfect Fathers
Fathers bring a different and very important role to parenting. In general Fathers tend to be stronger at enforcing boundaries with their child however some Fathers could try and improve their nurturing skills with their child by :
· Playing together
· Spending regular time together
· Showing affection is vital
· Doing things together
· Teaching new things to your child e.g. fishing
· Visiting your child at school and understanding what your child is doing at school
To become more involved with your child put your plans with your child into your work diary (set out a plan, make a list of actions and schedule weekly time to enact). Fathers should aim to be your child’s guide by sharing your values and visions with your child (let them understand you). It is worth pointing out the children need to get the approval of their fathers.
Energy
Children are full of energy and it is the parent’s role to convert this energy in a positive way to develop your child for life. Sport is key to elevating negative energy and maximising positive energy, releasing endorphins and making your child feel good about themselves. As parents we need to encourage and support our children by transporting, attending and nurturing their sporting interest and talent. Alongside structured sport children benefit greatly from introducing adventure and outdoor play whether its hill walking, body boarding etc. This adds excitement and releases energy and makes memories with your child.
Boundaries
The final part of the evening focused on Boundaries and Children
The talk ended on a structured approach to boundaries to help parents put their new skills identified at the talk into a positive action in the family. Boundaries must be set without stress, children operate well in structured environments set up by a good leader, and children operate well in a positive coaching environment. The main question in many parents’ minds is what to do when the child pushes the boundaries. Mr Driessen suggests
1. Remain really really calm
2. Discuss the action with your child briefly and positivity
3. Explain reasons for boundaries
4. Explain Consequences
5. Enforce the Consequences
6. Be consistent but calm and kind
7. Move on and have a fresh start
This was the first of many parent evenings that will be held in the school during the 2010/2011 academic year. Details of upcoming events will be provided on the web site and communicated to the parents via the school.
